And if the students didn’t behave, I had to pull out my secret weapon and threaten them! “If you don’t quiet down and behave, I will tell you Elephant Jokes!” I said in an aggressive manner. “No! Teacher! Not that! Anything but elephant jokes. We promise to behave!” That was the class of ’89 with Moris Guterman, Roberto Brandwayn and Ernie Farji.
Of course, the promise to behave didn’t last long, so in the end I had to tell some elephant jokes….
- Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
From playing marbles.
- How do you know if there’s an elephant in your bed?
Because of the big “E” on his pajamas.
- How do you know if there’s an elephant in your refrigerator?
Because there are footprints in the butter.
- Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of palm trees.
- Why shouldn’t you walk through the jungle from two to four in the afternoon?
Because that is the time the elephants jump out of trees.
- Why are pygmies short?
Because they walk through the jungle from two to four in the afternoon.
- Why do elephants have white tusks?
They use the Crest formula.
- Why didn’t the elephant study at the university?
Because he didn’t finish high school.
(That one I made up myself).
- What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
“Here come the elephants!”
- What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with sunglasses?
Nothing. He didn’t recognize them.
Etc. You get the gist.
Pretty bad, huh? So now you understand their agony. They would beg for mercy.
(For more fascinating elephant jokes to torture your students or friends, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to: Danny Voll… no, let’s make it easier… just write to email@example.com). Or go to Scholastic or Amazon.com and buy an elephant joke book yourself.
Other fun-time activities included songs by “Weird Al” Yankovic: “I Think I’m a Clone Now”, “Just Eat It”, “Fat”, etc. Before that, we did Subliminal Messages from the rock and heavy metal groups from the 80’s. Nowadays, the messages are no longer subliminal. Everything is out in the open.
Musicals were fun too. The same class that hated elephant jokes wrote and acted out their own modern version of “Mid-Summer Night’s Dream”, with an amazingly creative English teacher who sadly passed away in an accident in the States.
Student on the Roof
And there is no better musical to work with than “Fiddler on the Roof”. So we simply did our own version: “Student on the Roof!” with all its famous hits.
You may ask! Why do we keep this student way of life if it is so difficult….?
I’ll tell you. I don’t know. It’s a tradition!
The students. The teachers. The parents. And, of course, the Rector!
If I were the Rector, dadadada, I wouldn’t have work hard, dadadada…
Testmaker, testmaker, make me a test, write an exam, make up a quiz.